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Well, mon cherie, I'm back on this godforsaken island that twenty million people call home. Sadly, I'm not among them. Oh well. I obviously didn't start this post to tell you the obvious, as I'm sure my presence or lack thereof would have been noticed by now, so here we go again with some philosophy. Yay. Fun.
Anyway, this entire thing was kinda started on my last day on Singaporean territory. As the drama people know, I was out in the middle of the field kicking air and screaming my ugly and slightly misshapen head off. They know what I was screaming about. I was asking God why, why there, why now, and why I only got three damn weeks to see my friends, during one of which I was sick. I don't have a definitive answer, but I've come to the conclusion that something is going to happen to me here that will shape my life eventually. Of course, being thirteen going on fourteen, I think that that's a bitchass excuse. Still, nothing I can do about it so meh. I'll go on living my life.
That's when the question at hand really hit me full force. I asked what the hell is the point of life. In other words, why the fuck am I here, What the fuck am I here for and what in the fuck am I supposed to be doing. Minus the rants, I wondered what the purpose of life was.
Now, many people over the years have given many years of thought to this particular question. There is, for example, the biological view that our purpose is to just fuck and die, repeat cycle ad infinitum. I personally have no problem with this, particularly the first bit, but when I think about it, it kinda leaves me with a big empty feeling inside, the shape of which does not conform to euclidean geometry.
If my purpose in life was just to fuck, then why the hell would I be given this level of processor power? Why would I be able to think about what the hell my purpose was if my purpose was just to fuck. Hell, if that was the case, God should just have made man in the shape of a dick and left it at that.
Our purpose has got to be something higher than that. Why else should we be able to think? even speaking in biological terms, everything has a given specific purpose in the body, so obviously this ability to think must be part of our purpose.
The purpose of life... It's a big thing, a bigass thing, so I think we would be better off if we knew what it was. Some say its to fuckup, enjoy yourself and then die. Some say its to find the person you can fall in love with. Some say other things which I'm not going to bother going into.
Want to know what I think? Even if the answer is no, too bad, 'cuz here it comes anyway.
I think the purpose of life is to live. Yes, mindblowing stuff I know.
This however raises another question. What the hell does it mean to live? Screw the dictionary definition 'cuz here I come with my own definition.
I say, to live is to spend your every waking moment doing something, knowing that you can never spend your time again to do something else, but not give a shit because you know that what you ARE doing at that point in time is gonna be the best thing you could ever do with your time. Of course, it would also help that your definition of what's worthwhile is all worked out, but that's a rough guide.
Now to wrap up the talk 'cuz I see some of you in the back there falling asleep already. Purpose is a big thing, and all things work towards the purpose, so obviously my being in the country from hell is all part of my purpose, so I'm gonna try not to bitch about it anymore and just go on living, because that's all I can do at this point. And hell, I've been living thirteen years already, surely I'm even slightly good at it.
Thank you all. R4\/\/k 0N!
I hated the present. I pissed on it, bitchslapped it, kicked it, screamed at it, punched it, got my friends to gang up on it, tried to hurt it, performed magic on it, attacked it, stabbed it, slashed it, impaled it, burned it, froze it, shot it, hadokened it, whacked it, punched it, kicked it and basically did all I could to kill it. It never worked, and instead just stood silent, unchanging. I then figured, to hell with it, and went on living my life. That's when it really started to change.
Everything turns out good in the end. If things aren't good, that just means its not the end.
Darryl Foo
save me
from myself
