<$BlogDateHeaderDate$>
Since i am sick, i my as well blog , i start to have terrible feelings. i am not sure if it is related to my fever or something else, just knowing that i am having mixed feelings.my vision is blured due to giddy spells and so on, but still, giving it a go at keepin this blog alive.
The thought of dying has been surfacing, what exactly is wrong with me...how i wished i could just drop dead and go to a place, far away... then i could jolly well be with my grandpa and grandma. i feel that there is not purpose in living, i am thinking that i am suffering from some kind of diffiency symdrome. probably just physcological. i just can't seem to do things right, i just have the thought that i would jolly well screw things up, never had i a situation like this before. sometimes i question myself, am i realli what people say i am? just fooling around? or am i just not matured yet?
since young, i always had a dream. being somebody of use. however after a year at NUSHS, my dream has slowly faded away, i do not seem to have gotten good grades in most of my subjects like last time, in primary school. the sense of pride in what i do is much gone. most of the time, i joke in class, i am reminded of my grandpa. he used to tell the same jokes. probably, i would be seeing him soon.
i am starting to have blackouts, i shall end here then.
The boy who just can't do things right
save me
from myself
